Topic: Feeling Alone

[Critter]

It's explained in the first few posts of this thread.

[Dr. Hasslein]

Oh yeah, geez I'm lazy.

[Dr. Hasslein]

Ok Blair, if you're so miserable you need to do something about it. Push yourself!

[Blair]

Well, she is gone now

It felt very strange not having one of our routine talks this evening. Sure there is the Internet, but that's never the same thing as up close and personal.

[Dr. Hasslein]

I can't be bothered reading through this thread, so I'll just ask. Who was she?

[Tom]

I can't be bothered reading through this thread, so I'll just ask. Who was she?

Can you be bothered to at least read the first post of this thread?

[Dr. Hasslein]

I got it, that wasn't so hard.

[Dragonfire]

I'm rather upset about something that goes along with this tonight.
Someone very close to me in real life, that I thought I could trust, has basically betrayed that trust.  But it is only partially his fault according to him.

He ....shared some personal stuff with his landlord, a woman he barely knows.  He's only lived there since September.  This woman is horribly noisy and he knew this.  But he ended up spending hours talking to her yesterday..ok..whatever.  Then I found out earlier today that he told her all kinds of stuff about me.  I don't particularly like her and I sure as hell don't want her knowing anything about me, let alone what he told.  But it wasn't his fault because she kept asking questions...and just knew things.  Never the mind the fact that he does tend to talk a lot and said little things here and there that she picked up on and ran with.  I never would have thought he would have told anyone the stuff he told her.  It's not bad stuff, but it just don't think it is anyone else's business.  I never told him not to ..but I didn't think it was an issue.  He also told her one thing that he absolutely promised he wouldn't tell anyone.  He did keep going on and on about it, like he was trying to make himself look better.  He also kept saying it was mostly her fault because she kept asking questions.  He seemed to ignore the fact that he could have kept his mouth shut or just told her he wasn't going to talk about that.  Just because someone asks something doesn't mean you have to answer...especially if it is connected to another person not there. 

So I'm not happy right now.  He claims this is a learning experience or whatever.  What I've learned is his promises don't necessarily mean squat.  I feel like I can't trust him now and I don't want to tell him anything at all, let alone anything more private. 

Crap like this is why I'm not close to a lot of people in real life..though this is more....well....extreme I guess you could say, than what has happened before.

[Blair]

What all did he tell her?   (Kidding!)


I'm sorry this was done to you. I know all too well that terrible feeling, and as you said it becomes difficult to trust that person again because now you don't know about future situations.

I don't understand why people do that sort of thing except for the ones that are intentionally trying to cause trouble.

[Dragonfire]

I just don't get it either.  He said it wasn't intentional...I believe that..but still.  He could have kept his mouth shut.

[Kathy]

This isn't probably what you want to hear but based on what you've said I believe it to be true: You can never, ever trust this person again.

I'm not saying you can't have some type of relationship. But, for him to discuss you with a virtual stranger is unacceptable and you have right to be outraged.

Trustworthiness is not something that is a "learning experience" for an adult. He should have learned this as a child and obviously did not. I would never trust personal things with him again.

[Dragonfire]

And that is how I'm feeling Kathy.  The trust is gone..he says he won't do it again, but he had said he wouldn't tell anyone something before and he did.  So.  It was something tied to my mom...not real personal, but something upsetting to her and she doesn't want people knowing.  I only told him because she was having a tough time with it at one point..sort of taking a few things out on me.  He promised not to say anything ..and then he did.  I regret telling him now.  And that is in addition to the other stuff he talked about concerning me that that woman has no business knowing.  And the woman he told all this too is noisy and likes to gossip.

[Dr. Hasslein]

You know what you need to do, "take care" of him. 

[Blair]

"Two people can keep a secret if one of them is dead." ~ Unknown


That's always the thing about secrets and personal information. You tell one person in confidence, who tells another person in confidence who tells another person in confidence, who tells another. . . .

The only way to keep something from not being told is to never tell it yourself.

[Mustrum_Ridcully]

It was something tied to my mom...not real personal, but something upsetting to her and she doesn't want people knowing.  I only told him because she was having a tough time with it at one point..sort of taking a few things out on me.  He promised not to say anything ..and then he did. [...] And the woman he told all this too is noisy and likes to gossip.

If I get this correctly you don't trust him anymore because he did exactly the same thing as you did to your mother, except that she (hopefully) didn't find out yet ...  
So instead of being angry with yourself, because you told a third person details about your Mom, that she didn't want to know anyone, you decided to be angry with your friend.

Sometimes a get a glimpse of an idea how emotions work