Topic: Feeling Alone

[Blair]

I live in a small town. This small town is almost all people in their 50's and up or their teenage or younger kids. This leaves a tiny fraction of people around who are my age, and most of them have kids or work 6 1/2 days a week. This town also has practically no entertainment: a golf course and a bowling ally.

Within this town, I have two people my age that I consider decent friends (not even "good" friends because of how little time we ever shared together). Sure I have decent-to-good friends who are older, but it's not the same as spending time with people your age.

Three months ago one of them moved an hour away because she got back with her old boyfriend after almost two years apart, and that is where he lives. Tonight, the other told me her parents are moving because the bowling ally as well as her father's other business are failing miserably. Where they go, she feels the need to go too for both their sakes, and were they are moving is out of state.

So, in a four-month period I have lost the only two people I was even remotely close to, and the only decent family entertainment in town is closing.

I'm feeling all alone tonight

[Critter]

I'm really sorry to hear about that Blair, but wow! While reading that I couldn't help but notice how similar my own situation is. I have two people who I consider my best friends, and one of them just moved to Singapore. And next year, both of them will be moving to Melbourne and leaving me in this town on my own. Lucky for me though Melbourne is only an hour long train ride away so I plan on visiting them both most weekends. I know how you feel though, I felt awful when my friend moved to Singapore, it just feels so far away. How far away did both of them move?

[Dragonfire]

I'm sorry all that is happening.

I don't have a lot of friends anymore.  Most of basically just stopped contacting me and I got tired of being the one always reaching out to them.  I understand feeling alone.  I guess I'm use to it now.

Would you be able to visit your friends every so often?

[Rogmeister]

I'm pretty much like Dragonfire.  I used to have friends but one in particular always seemed to wait for me to make the first move.  Then, one of our mutual friends died and my other friend (and one other) just stopped getting in touch with me at all.  I haven't heard from him now in just about 10 years.  This is the main reason I have cats now.

[Blair]

I've only been on here a week and a half with 19 posts, and that's two (or is it three) ways that our lives have mirrored. Are you my long lost sister?  It's been said that if you travel far enough you'll eventually meet yourself. I just wasn't expecting to change sexes and get 15 years younger when it happened  (Or was it Dragonfire? For some reason your avatars are already confusing me on which of you has said what )

One of them is moving about an hour away, but it was already difficult enough to have a decent amount of time with her while she was single and living here because she worked so many long hours. Visiting her at her work was how I saw her half of the time, and regardless of where, she's such a busybody!  The other is moving 4 1/2 to 5 hours away.

There's always e-mail... when and if they ever get around to replying. The busybody rarely replies because she gets online for a moment or two and then feels the need to d other things. I've never actually e-mailed the other friend because there's been no need to. It was easier to find more time with her.



While growing up where I used to live (a much bigger city), I only had one real friend and one good friend, but there were also a few others to hang out with when I was with one of those two. Then again, it gets back to one of the issues discussed earlier about my turning into the fifth wheel. With the two friends here, I never felt that way which is why this bugs me so much. I make friends very easily.... but none of them ever consider me a friend nearly as easily.

Then again, I guess we wouldn't be chatting/online so often if we had lots of friends to spend time with.


[/Another Long Post]

[Dragonfire]

The friends I've made online have treated me better in general than friends in the real world. 

Our cats tend to appreciate us more than people huh Roger?  

[Critter]

Marie just brought up a very important point. No matter what is going on in your real life, online friends like us will always be here to chat and talk over things. And the similarities many of us seem to share probably explain why some of us turn to the internet so often, not all of us of course, but some are in the same boat as you.

[RossRoy]

Hummm Sorry about that. Little slip there. Nothing to see. Move along now.

......

(click to show/hide)

Oh boy... A friend... What's that again?  Haven't had anyone I would call a "friend" for a very long time.

Oh sure I am friendly enough with coworkers and family... but a friend I know I can tell anything to and who would still be there for me?

I don't think I can even remember what that's like......

[Dragonfire]

Someone has told me, more than once even, that I'm not normal because I don't have a lot of friends.  This person has also told me that I need to get out and meet more people.  Fine in theory, but making real friends isn't that easy.  At least for me.

I get along with people fine.  I don't particularly like the people I work with, mainly because I've seen how backstabbing and cliquish they are, but I get along with them.  I definitely don't consider any of them to be real friends.  I've seen them be nice to people to their face and then run them down to others.  I'm sure a few of them say all kinds of crap about me behind my back.  But I don't care anymore.  I certainly don't want those type of people as friends.

[snowcat]

I have alot of aquintances, and a couple of best friends... most of whom live all over the place... but I just started a course with 70 people on and we are mixed with three other classes which all have 70 people in.... Ive made a few friends on this course which is good.

I have alot of online friends that I talk to all the time.

[Mustrum_Ridcully]

I have alot of aquintances, and a couple of best friends...

Acquaintances (with friendly contact): Several
Friends: 1 (tendency: 2)

The acquaintances are something like a moving group, some come in others drop out.
All in all I Consider myself to be very lucky to have one friend with long approved friendship.

One of the advantages of "my age" is that age isn't that important anymore, my acquaintances are within an age span of +/- 15 years of my age. That's something that's nearly impossible if you're 30 or younger, but works very well if you're 45 up.

I found that animals help if you want to gain new "friends". Take your dog for a walk and you'll always meet other people, if it's a puppy you'll soon learn how hard it may be to fight of the contact seekers.

[Kathy]

I am blessed with having several close friends - the kind you know will always be there. I've known Mark and Susan for over 35 years and Michelle for over 20. We plan on being together even in old age - rocking on the front porch of our retirement community, reminiscing on the good old days. And...complaining about how getting old sucks!

I've met some wonderful folks on line too who I consider friends. But, it takes a lot of years to build the foundation of becoming like family.

I have many acquaintances. These are the people that casually come and go in my life. They are important but, because I don't invest the time and energy in them, these people often fade into the past. I'm always happy to hear from them on occasion but often their involvement in my life is too casual to maintain.

[Blair]

A week has passed, and with each day I feel a little more down.

But, there was a bit if light today receiving an e-mail from someone I care deeply for who I haven't heard anything from in the past 6 months. It's amazing how, in times of darkness, how light can still find a way in.

I know it will only be a temporary boost, but I'll take all I can get!

[Critter]

Glad to hear you have heard from a friend today Blair.

[Dr. Hasslein]

A week has passed, and with each day I feel a little more down.

But, there was a bit if light today receiving an e-mail from someone I care deeply for who I haven't heard anything from in the past 6 months. It's amazing how, in times of darkness, how light can still find a way in.

I know it will only be a temporary boost, but I'll take all I can get!

What is your situation? Are you depressed over something in particular?