Topic: To All My Great Friends Here...

[Dragonfire]

That's good that she likes the place and the people working there. 

I hope you're getting better Roger.

[Rogmeister]

I appreciate the kind thoughts.  If anyone wants to see a photo of my arm, I put one up at my Facebook page.  I'm called Rogmeister there, too.  The photo is pretty nasty-looking but I guess this is the month for it. 

[addicted2dvd]

Thanks Roger..
I hope you are feeling better after your surgery.

I spent Saturday morning till Sunday evening with my mother at Hospice. Sitting with her and keeping her company while she was up and watching DVDs on my laptop while she slept. She had a pretty good day on Saturday. Then she slept comfortably all night Saturday night. Which I thought was good... but I am not 100% sure now. On Sunday all she wanted to do is sleep. Which I thought was just her catching up from the hospital stay. But shortly into the day one of the nurses came to me and said that her response has lowered and that her sleeping all the time the way she is... is a sign. But when I asked if I should call and gather the family she said no she don't think she is in active death. That we still have some time. Shortly after she told me that she came to me with pamphlets about death and loosing a loved one. At least going by that pamphlet... it says she is in the 1 to 2 week from death stage.

I am doing my best to accept this information... but even so I am finding myself still wondering that maybe it is still her trying to catch up on her sleep... or maybe it is the medication she is on as she hasn't been on morphine too long (days) and maybe it is that that is making her sleep so much. But that is probably all just wishful thinking. And if they are right I don't think she will be making it to come home after all. Unfortunately all we can do is wait and see.

But I tell you one thing... I can't stand this helpless feeling! 

[richierich]

Thinking of you Pete. No words will comfort or help you but be assured your friends here are available 24/7 to support you.

[addicted2dvd]

Thanks Rich... I appreciate it.

[DJ Doena]

Hey Pete,

it's so sad to hear this and I can feel with you. If it's of any consolation, see it this way: If she can sleep peacefully than she's not in any pain and trust me, that is something.

[Kathy]

I'm not sure what you mean by "her response has lowered". Can you find out for me? You might want to keep a pad and paper next to her bed and have everyone write down what the staff tells you. It is hard to remember things when a loved one is sick and this is one way everyone can keep track of what is going on.

As far as the sleeping is concerned, it might very well be a combination of things. Morphine is a powerful medication but it does cause sedation. It decreases the respiratory rate and can make someone very sleepy. But, it is a wonderful medication to alleviate pain and brings great comfort to those with respiratory problems. Is she on a continuous IV (into a vein) dose? Or do they give her medicine orally?

Other medications can cause sedation and have a synergistic effect when given with morphine. This just means that given together they are much stronger than if given separately. There is a fine line between what is enough and what is too much. Of course your mother's comfort is of the highest priority. But, it might be prudent to see if a slightly lower dose is just as effective and yet not make her sleep all the time.

Questions to ask:
How much morphine is she on?
Can the dose be lowered?
Can internment bolus' be given if she needs it? (this will give her an extra dose of medicine if her has trouble).
What other medications is she on?

I don't know if this is an option in your mom's situation but there is also something called a PCA (patient controlled anesthesia) pump. It allows the patient to control the amount of medicine she needs. She pushes a button when she needs a dose of medicine. It is preset and has time limits on how much she can receive. If she is not alert this is not an option.

Please be aware that even though your mom may appear to be sleeping it is very likely she is aware of her surroundings and can hear the things that are said. When people are visiting her, especially during hours that she would normally be awake, talk to her. Read to her. Bring things that have special meaning to her and talk about them.

When she is more awake and alert, ask her what she needs. Does she want anything brought in? Talk to her. Find out what she needs or wants.

I know how helpless you feel. I'm so sorry that you and your family are going through this. Don't be afraid of what is going on or let a pamphlet bother you.  There is no time table of how long your mom is going to live. Or any of us for that matter. It might be that this is the last few weeks or months of your mother's life. Embrace them, as you well know life is so very precious. Be strong Pete. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you.

[lyonsden5]

No words will comfort or help you but be assured your friends here are available 24/7 to support you.

Rich is absolutely correct.

I wish I could find some words to help... but I can't.

[Achim]

Pete, thanks for keeping us updated as much as you do. I also wish the best to your mother and your entire family to get through the upcoming tough times. Looking forward to see your head popping in here from time to time.

I appreciate the kind thoughts.  If anyone wants to see a photo of my arm, I put one up at my Facebook page.  I'm called Rogmeister there, too.  The photo is pretty nasty-looking but I guess this is the month for it. 

I saw the picture and hope it's already beginning t look a little better since then.

[Rogmeister]

Actually, Achim, I think the bruise may even have spread a bit more since that photo was taken but I imagine it will start looking better pretty soon.

Pete, I'm sorry to hear the current state of your mother.  You and your mother are both in my thoughts and prayers.

[addicted2dvd]

Thanks everyone... I do appreciate it.

I will be staying home today to do some work around here and I want to be home for when Brittany comes home from her 4 day weekend (Teacher meetings) with her other grandmother. As I really need to start preparing her. The last thing she knew was the fact that grandma was in the hospital with pneumonia and when there it turned out worse then we thought. That is all she knows as of now. But I need to start preparing her just in case.

My brother just got off the phone with the nurses station. She is more alert today and even sitting in a chair a bit this morning. Which gives me hope that she did indeed just needed to catch up with some sleep. And possibly the medication had her very sleepy yesterday.

[addicted2dvd]

I just had the hardest talk I ever had with Brittany. 

She now knows that her grandmother (who has been like a mother to her) is very sick. She held it back... not wanting to cry in front of me. But as soon as I finished explaining things she asked if she could go walk around the back yard. I think she needs to be alone for a little while.

[Najemikon]

Bless you, Pete. Hope you're ok. Remember this hurts as much as it does because it's relative to just how close you all are.

[addicted2dvd]

Thanks Jon...
we just heard from Hospice (no one there at the moment as everyone had appts or sick or what have you) My brother just left to be with her some. But the nurse at Hospice just told us she is not doing well at all. She is having trouble with her breathing and is confused and such. And that they are not going to look into long term care for her as it looks like it is only a matter of days now. We will have to see what will happen from here.

[Kathy]

As hard as I'm sure it was, I'm glad you talked to Brittany. I know how much her grandma meant to her.

Confusion is one of the first signs that someone is not getting enough oxygen. I hope that they will be able to make her more comfortable. I'm glad to hear your brother is heading over - sometimes it helps to have a familiar face nearby.