Topic: Could you give this a quick look-over?

[DJ Doena]

I decided to fill out my personal homepage with a little more content than just a feed snippet from my twitter account and my blog and the "recently bought / watched" banners.

On my new page I made quite boast of what an bad ass English master I am.

Now I need you to back up my claim.

Could you give this a quick read and point out the most glaring spelling and grammar mistakes?

And keep in mind, I'm German, you can be blunt.

http://djdoena.net/en/

Thanks.

[dfmorgan]

Could you give this a quick read and point out the most glaring spelling and grammar mistakes?

Looks good to me Karsten, but then again I failed English 'O' level* 3 times.

* 'O' Level see here

[Kathy]

Blunt? Okay, I will be honest in my assessment.

The first thing I noticed was "Doena Soft" and my thoughts went directly to the perverted section. But, that is my problem and hopefully not yours! 

The next thing, you say "...German umlauts and the end looked coola". What is "coola?

One last thing, why is your sentence structure set up this way?:

For example,
you start a second sentence after the comma instead of leaving it on the same line.

For example, this is how I am used to seeing sentences laid out.

As a reader, this takes me out of the rhythm of your thoughts. My mind wandered off wondering if you were doing this on purpose, was it the program you were using etc. It really doesn't matter but it was something I noticed.

I've only looked at your homepage a few minutes and, other than the few things I mentioned, it looks pretty good.

[DJ Doena]

The first thing I noticed was "Doena Soft" and my thoughts went directly to the perverted section. But, that is my problem and hopefully not yours! 

That's the name of my non-existent software company. You know, like Microsoft.

The next thing, you say "...German umlauts and the end looked coola". What is "coola?

cool, cooler, coolest. But with an "a".

It's a bit hard to explain to an English-speaking person. Remember when JFK said "Ich bin ein Berliner". Well when someone actually from Berlin says that it sounds more like "Berlina". It's our contribution to the many dialects of German.

One last thing, why is your sentence structure set up this way?:

For example,
you start a second sentence after the comma instead of leaving it on the same line.

For example, this is how I am used to seeing sentences laid out.

As a reader, this takes me out of the rhythm of your thoughts. My mind wandered off wondering if you were doing this on purpose, was it the program you were using etc. It really doesn't matter but it was something I noticed.

These sentences were a translation of their original German and sometimes we tend to construct really, really long sentences. Whereas in English, sentences are usually much shorter.

I will look over it and probably break them down in multiple sentences.

[Blair]

German and sometimes we tend to construct really, really long sentences.

I must be part German because I often do that. By the end of the sentence I may ask myself, "How can I break this down? It looks like a paragraph!"

[Antares]

Here's a few changes I made to some of what's written. I only got through to the first paragraph of the troll section, but I'll try and fix some more either on Monday or Tuesday. It's been a long day and I have to work a double shift tomorrow.

DJ Doena has been existing since I've been able to play Doom II and WarCraft II via null modem cable and IPC protocol and I needed a player name.

DJ Doena has been in existence ever since I started playing Doom II and WarCraft II via null modem cable and IPC protocol and I needed a player name.

American games weren't that great with German umlauts and the end looked coola and thus it became "DJ Doena".
By happenstance it's also easily shortened to "DJD" which was important for all the Arcade-to-PC ports back then.

Needs some commas...

American games weren't that great with German umlauts and the end looked coola, thus it became, "DJ Doena".
By happenstance, it's also easily shortened to "DJD", which was important for all the Arcade-to-PC ports back then.

I love it to discuss everything and more on the internet. And I also don't have a problem with representing the minority opinion.
But the latter has become more difficult in recent years because one's very quickly accused of being a troll when one does not share the opinion that's currently opportune.
I've written countless postings in countless forums and I'm (almost) always registered under the names "DJ Doena" or "DJDoena".

I love discussing and bantering about on a wide array and range of topics across the landscape of the internet. I do not have a problem representing the minority opinion, but this has become more difficult in recent years, because one's very quickly accused of being a troll when one does not conform to the status quo.
I've written numerous postings in a variety of forums and I'm (almost) always registered under the names "DJ Doena" or "DJDoena".

[DJ Doena]

Thanks for all that. I appreciate it.

[hal9g]

Here's my contribution to the "TV Shows" section:

Formally I had Russian from the 5th grade as my first foreign language. I discontinued it after the 11th grade.
Formally I had English from the 7th grade as my second foreign language. Formally I also had some classes at the college.
Realistically I'm only remembering a few phrases in Russian ("Меня зовут ...", "Я родился ...").
Realistically my English was as bad as my Russian after I had finished college. I had a C- / D- / D / D in English in my last two high school years.

The first foreign language that I studied was Russian, which I took from the 5th grade through the 11th grade.
I also studied English starting in the 7th grade, as my second foreign language, including some college level classes.
In reality, I only remember a few phrases of Russian: ("Меня зовут ...", "Я родился ..."). My English was just as bad as my Russian when I finished college. I had a C- / D- / D / D in English in my last two years of high school.

But then I started to collect DVDs in 2001. My first purchase was one of my favourite movies back then was Braveheart. I didn't understand a word.
Then I enabled the subtitles and still didn't understand anything. But I liked how it sounded. More authentic.
(back then I had no idea that Mel Gibson only had a pseudo Scottish accent and his Australian was quite audible to the trained ear). I liked it.

Then, I started collecting DVDs in 2001. My first purchase was Braveheart; one of my favorite movies at the time. Unfortunately, I didn’t understand a single word. When I turned on the subtitles, I still did not understand a thing, but I loved the way it sounded so authentic (back then, I had no idea that Mel Gibson only had a pseudo-Scottish accent and his Australian was quite audible to the trained ear). I really liked it.

In 2002 Star Trek: The Next Generation (didn't I say that somehow everything starts with Star Trek with me?) was released on DVD.
For only 100€ per season! But it was worth it. And thanks to the very clear and articulated (theater) English which was spoken here, in the spin-off show Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, but also in Babylon 5, I was able to get a real access to the language for the first time.

In 2002, Star Trek: The Next Generation (didn't I say that somehow everything starts with Star Trek with me?) was released on DVD. For only 100€ per season! But, it was worth it. Thanks to the clear elocution and theatrical style of English used in this series and its sequel series Star Trek: Deep Space Nine along with Babylon 5, I had excellent examples of proper pronunciation of English for the first time.

Now, 13 years later, I don't have any (big) problems to understand English both spoken as well as in the written form. Only when it comes to myself speaking, I'm sometimes fumbling for words,
because the German-English translation channel in my brain isn't as well developed as the other way around. But I have no fear of speaking or of not knowing the words.

Now, 13 years later, I have very few problems understanding English in either spoken or written form. However, when it comes to speaking, I sometimes find myself fumbling for words because the German/English translation section of my brain is not as well developed as the English/German section. But, I have no fear of speaking or not being able to find the right words.

I have a rather diversified interest in TV shows (I have no problem watching an episode of Hart of Dixie directly after an episode of Justified),
my listening skills to understand and distinguish accents and dialects but also for idioms and specialized vocabulary have extremely improved.

I have a very diverse interest in TV shows (I have no problem watching an episode of Hart of Dixie directly after an episode of Justified). My ability to distinguish and understand accents and dialects and understand idioms and specialized vocabulary, has improved significantly.

When it comes to writing English I have to admit that I neither conform to the BE nor to the AE style. I've picked up the habit of spelling s/z words the American way ("characterization", "realized") but use the British way for the whole ou/o issue ("honour", "neighbour").
And yes, I'm going to make the occasional your/you're or there/their/they're mistake, especially when typing fast.

When it comes to writing English, I have to admit that I conform to neither the BE nor the AE style. I've picked up the habit of spelling s/z words the American way ("characterization", "realized"), but, I use the British spelling for the whole ou/o issue ("honour", "neighbour"). And yes, I'm going to make the occasional your/you're or there/their/they're mistake, especially when typing fast.

All of this is putting me in the comfortable situation of not being confined to German television or the German DVD market for that matter. I can create my own international program.
And yes, since then I've become one of these "snobs" a.k.a. original audio watchers a.k.a dubbing despisers.

All of this has put me in the enviable position of not being confined to German television or the German DVD market, for that matter. I can create my own international program. And yes, because of this, I've become one of those “audio track snobs", a.k.a. original audio watchers, a.k.a dubbing despisers.

[DJ Doena]

Thanks I will work it in sometime this week.

[DJ Doena]

OK, I worked most of it in and left some stuff I did on purpose.

[DJ Doena]

One last thing, why is your sentence structure set up this way?:

For example,
you start a second sentence after the comma instead of leaving it on the same line.

For example, this is how I am used to seeing sentences laid out.

Looking better now?

[Kathy]

I'll spend a little time looking things over tomorrow - I just got home and I'm a little tired.

I read the suggestions of the others and agree that the wording might be better. But, I thought of your phrasing to be similar to a foreign accent and that didn't bother me at all.

I'm curious, why are you interested in changing things?