Topic: Non-Youtube find (pictures etc.) ;)

[lovemunkey187]

Pass this along to Canadians who need a laugh and foreigners who can learn something about Canada and then laugh.
 

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN –

BRITISH COLUMBIA

1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. YOU do the math.

2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.

3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.

4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.

5. Weed.


TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN –

ALBERTA

1. A big rock between you and B.C.

2. Ottawa…who??

3. Tax is 5% instead of the approximately 200% it is for the rest of the country.

4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.

5. You live in the only province which could actually afford to be its own country.

6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.


TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN -SASKATCHEWAN

1. You never run out of wheat.

2. Your province is really easy to draw.

3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.

4. People will assume you live on a farm.

5. ……………what?

 

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN –

MANITOBA

1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property.

2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid, lakes.

3. Nothing compares to a Wicked Winnipeg Winter.

4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner, depending on your mood.

5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.


TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN –

ONTARIO

1. You live in the centre of the universe.

2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.

3. You, and you alone, decide who will win the Federal election.

4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime.


TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN –

QUEBEC

1. Racism is socially acceptable.

2. You can think in ‘foreign’.

3. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next.

4. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.

5. You can blame all your problems on the 'Anglo *#!%!'


TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN -

NEW BRUNSWICK

1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income.

2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.

3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick.

4. Most people never HEARD of New Brunswick.

5. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse.


TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN -NOVA  SCOTIA

1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can.

2. You get drunk, and wear a kilt.

3. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt.

4. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.



TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN –

PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND

1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the biggest, newest, bridge.

2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.

3. You can drive across the province in two minutes.

4. Everyone has been an extra on 'Road to Avonlea.'

5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from.

6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night.


TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN - NEWFOUNDLAND

1. If Quebec separates, you can float off to sea.

2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.

3. The workday is about two hours long.

4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip-waders to a wedding.

[Jimmy]

Why I have the impression that it was written by an anglo canadian

[Mustrum_Ridcully]

Why I have the impression that it was written by an anglo canadian

Wouldn't know!
Possibly because of the passage on Quebec??
On the other hand the review for BC isn't much better, is it?

The only thing I could say is that this text summarizes some of the best prejudices a non-Canadian might have about Canada and it's provinces.

[Jimmy]

Possibly because of the passage on Quebec??

Yes and it's because all of them concern the exact same thing.

[Mustrum_Ridcully]

Possibly because of the passage on Quebec??

Yes and it's because all of them concern the exact same thing.

So you mean that according to this list there's only one reason to live in Quebec??  

[Jimmy]

No, there are no reasons to live here unless you are born here

More seriously I love our social system (not the best, but certainly better that it is in the province of Alberta), our beautifull cities (except Montreal who is an urban mess), the fact that we are bilingual, you can trust your neighbors, the criminality is very low,...

I just don't like when we are only drawn as a secessionist, racist and anti-english province.

But it's another story and I prefer to keep the politics out of here

[DJ Doena]

The last convenience store of Krypton: http://twitpic.com/2phm07

[kahless]

Nigeria Connection (oldie but goldie...)

[RossRoy]

Teenage girl: “Do you guys sell that contraceptive abstinence?”

Me: “Abstinence?”

Teenage girl: “Yeah! Abstinence! I read that it’s the only 100% way to not get pregnant!”

Me: “That’s right. But, abstinence is to not have sex. Like abstain from.”

Teenage girl: “Well, that just sucks!”

[hal9g]

Well, that would work for him, anyway!   

[Mustrum_Ridcully]

That reminds me of my Mom telling me that an apple is the best contraceptive.
When I asked if it has to be eaten before or after, she answered: "Instead of" 

[RossRoy]

Does that fit anyone you know? 


A Day in the Life of an Internet Commenter on College Humor

[Mustrum_Ridcully]

Does that fit anyone you know?  

Me?  

Just caught myself posting at Invelos again ... and of course I immediately fell back into old behaviouristic patterns 

[DJ Doena]

Does that fit anyone you know? 

Nope. I have more hair.

[Critter]

I personally love 'Soldier' and 'Starfish'  . Although I'm pretty sure I come in as C.