Hahahahaha
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To get into the Christmas spirit, and since I'm comic addicted as my name suggests
hows about a comic-based Night Before Christmas rendition? It's written by Supermevs from Marvel.com, so I think you'll like it, in the voice of Spider-Man's Aunt May
:
‘Twas the night before christmas, and all through New York
The children had long set down knife and fork.
They hurried to bed, with a scamper of feet
In the hope that dear Santa Claus left them a treat.
I, myself, had turned the lights down
And put on my royal blue dressing gown.
Pete slipped upstairs, with a brief “Night May!”
And then locked his door, to keep me at bay.
I know what he does, when he goes out at night
Changing his clothes to look for a fight.
He doesn’t know when he comes home with a scratch on his arm
That I know it’s the Vulture that’s doing him harm.
So selfless of him, even on Christmas eve,
To go and protect those that are in need.
I know I should give him the freedom to roam
But despite this I fret that he’ll never come home.
Ever since that fateful night on the street, when
That most dreadful of deeds befell my dear Ben,
I have lost faith in Christmas, I just think he’ll appear
Dressed up as Santa Claus, as he used to each year.
I sat down in my chair, while I boiled the kettle.
No wine for me, I have not the mettle.
The chair was so comfy, the cushions so deep
That before I knew it, I fell fast asleep.
I was roused by a “thump” on the roof of the house,
Too big for a bird, or a roof-dwelling mouse.
I flew from the room, like an old mother hen
Fearing the Goblin was here once again.
It was then that I heard the chime of a bell.
So musical, I could immediately tell,
This was no villain, no hunter of beasts,
No hideous reptile that searches for feasts.
Surprisingly nimble, for one that’s so old
I leapt to the window, and lo and behold
By leaning outside as far as I could
I saw a big man, with a red furry hood.
He stroked his long beard, and swept out of view
I stayed for what seemed like an hour, or two.
I came to my senses, when I heard a kerfuffle
Come from the chimney, and a voice that was muffled.
I ran to the living room, and what I could hear
Defied all my logic, but I trusted my ear
The poor little fat man, so full of pluck
Was wedged in the chimney, shouting “help me! I’m stuck!”
I went to the pantry, grabbed a long broom
And unclogged some presents that took up all the room.
The fat man fell down, now more black then red.
“Thank you, good lady” between coughs he said.
“It was my sack that was most of the trouble,
I’ll lighten my load, and fly, on the double”.
He pressed a few presents into my hands
And I noticed the familiar way that he stands.
He stuck his arm up the chimney, and I heard a “thwip”
And he flew up that tunnel unnaturally quick.
His parting words were brief, a quick “I confess;
I’m awfully sorry about making a mess”
And then he was gone, but I could tell he was here
By a pile of soot, and I, shedding a tear
Looked at the fireplace, now so untidy
And whispered “God bless you, and thank you, good Spidey”.