The new randomized review generator is now online and the code is way more easy.
What I basically did was writing a .NET program that accesses the MySQL database and queries all the postings in the review forum. Then it parses all the lines in the postings for a typical review entry. Then it parses that one and writes the data into another MySQL table.
In the end it looks like this:
topicid messageid number User Title
5036 83527 0 Rich ...and justice for all
4159 81314 1 Jon [.REC]
5036 83526 2 Rich *batteries not included
741 72035 3 RossRoy The 6th Day
451 66164 4 addicted2dvd 13 Ghosts
5086 82905 5 addicted2dvd 13 Going on 30
5081 82711 6 Dragonfire 101 Dalmatians
5154 84284 7 Dragonfire 102 Dalmatians
726 70239 8 addicted2dvd 1408
5062 82645 9 Jimmy 2LDK
...
5036 83404 1575 Rich Zulu Dawn
And from there I simply select a random post and display it.
The only real problem was Jon's [.REC] movie because it screwed up my
regular expression.