Well.... I watched this... uhmm film last night, it was a blind buy, it has remained unopened for ages, until now. I was mainly attracted to it because of the people involved. Lawrence Kasdan, William Goldman, based on Stephen King's novel (which I haven't read), Morgan Freeman... Sounds like a good deal, right? I just thought it was a no-brainer.
First of all, and since I'm too lazy right now (it's been a long week) to type the plot the film, I've taken the liberty to copy the overview from the DVD:
Jonesy, Henry, Pete and Beaver are bonded by friendship... and by the strange powers each acquired on a fateful day in their childhood. But now a horrific entity is putting their friendship and powers to the test, and some of the four will die. And some will save the world from a menace unlike anything ever seen.
Suspense. Heroism. Awesome effects. They're all unleashed in this Stephen King tale adapted by William Goldman and director/co-writer Lawrence Kasdan. A splendid cast, headed by Morgan Freeman as a shoot-first alien hunter, powers the eerie goings-on ranging from a monster flushfest to a massive animal migration to inner mindscapes and beyond. 'Dreamcatcher': it's a sci-fi/horror fan's dream come true.Sounds pretty good, isn't it? Well, almost 11 hours later after watching it, I still have no idea at all what to make of it.
However, what I did realize during the course of the movie were the several different facial expressions I seemed to be making. To aid me in finding out the mystery behind Dreamcatcher in this post, I have decided to enlist the talents of my good friend Mark. So, for the uninitiated, here's to you, my impressions on Dreamcatcher in 8 easy steps, with Mark helping me illustrate my thoughts far more convincingly that I could ever do. It's possible there may be quite a bit of spoilers here, so if you don't want me to ruin the film for you, thread carefully.
Stage 1 - Beginnings of the Film 
Ok, I never said Mark was a handsome guy, but here we have him. Quite happy at what seems to be a kick-ass horror film with a talented director and screenwriter on board. This is quite longish for a horror film (clocking at 2:14, much more than the average) but so far, it seems to deliver. We're entrusted with nice bits of character development as we meet our four heroes: Jonesy, Henry, Pete and Beaver. We discover they have been childhood pals in Maine (No, seriously, is this a Stephen King story?
), and seem to have developed some kind of psychic connection between them. Each of them has different... let's call them 'talents'.
Stage 2 - The Plot Thickens... There's fun to be had! 
As soon as I discovered (and Mark too for that matter) that one of the characters uses his psychic talent powers to pick up hot girls, I had to smirk. How cool is that? See Mark's expression there? Yeh... oh those days of picking up hot strange girls and asking them out. Sure, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't but, who can not smile at that? Good days. (Not that anything has changed *cough*). We also learn some more of our heroes and find out there's a weird connection between them and a mysterious idiot savant kid, named Duddits, which is exactly the name I'm going to give to my parrot. BUt wait... Who were those guys? What happened? Why do they have all these weird powers? Now I'm interested, tell me more!
Stage 3 - Is this thing getting a little too... weird? 
As the plot advances, our four friends decide to meet again for a fun time at a winter cabin. There are raunchy jokes, too much beer, and... even more raunchy jokes! Hey, that's so much fun! Now, where is our plot, friends? Well, Kasdan and Goldman are no fools, so we are led to believe this is going to be a raunchy-joke film-fest but no no, what they have in store for us is sure to be just kick-ass horrific. Ok, so at one point our good friends (yeh, I felt like these guys were my pals too) go hunting in the snow only to discover some guy sitting there in the middle of nothing while snow falls on his face. Wow, who is this new character? As it turns out, we learn very little of him but what we do know is that he has some sort of really drastic gastrointestinal problem. Our friends are so good-natured that they take pity for this complete stranger who not only farts and burps more than Mark's old aunt Emilie, but who also has some sort of icky facial infection. So what to they do? Why, the exact same thing everyone with two grams of common sense would do, they take him to their cabin to help and tend him!
Stage 4 - Mighty good heavens! 
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One single facial expression would not even begin to describe the next sequence, so for the sake of clarity, Mark has been kind enough to provide two of them for us. And now, back to to the story: Not only our good stranger keeps happily burping and farting, he also makes a mess out of his pants. Yeh, you don't really want to know this, but I could just picture Mr. Kasdan and Mr. Goldman laughing hysterically while we, the audience, squirm ourselves in disgust. But the thing doesn't end here, oh no sir, this is barely starting! So, back to our farting stranger. At one point, this guy asks to use the toilet, goes and here I knew there really must be a God because he had the good sense to close the door after him. Well, our heroes start hearing these mighty weird noises coming from the bathroom, so they gather courage and open the door... To make a long sequence short, the guy's ass literally explodes (yup, you're reading right) and out of it comes a nasty nasty worm-like critter with huge teeth and worse attitude!
Stage 5 - Bad.. bad alien and even more weirdness 
So... what happens next is that we find out the nasty critter is the pet of a gigantic alien who's also really, really bad. We know he's bad because it has no expression at all, just a huge face with little green eyes that spell out just how evil he is. Anyway, the Alien somehow uses his evil psychic ability to enter the mind of one of our heroes, Jonesy, so the alien ends up possessing him. Mwahahaha, how evil is that? But wait, evilness does not end there: We also learn that now Jonesy is evil, not only because of the fact that he starts running the gamut of every possible lunatic facial expression known to man, no, he also speaks with AN ENGLISH ACCENT! Well, it's more Scottish than English, but you catch my drift. So, now that evil alien has possessed the good-natured Jonesy, you may ask, BUT SAILOR, WHERE IS THE REAL JONESY NOW, LOL? Well, let's say Evil Alien is taking up like 70 percent of Jonesy's brain, so The Real Jonesy is hiding in the remaining 30 percent of his own mind, in a place he uses to store his memories. Ok, wait, before you start saying BUT SAILOR, WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT, THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE, LOL, I should explain this to you. You see, King himself has decided that we all have this special place in our minds where we can escape when we feel threatened, so in order to illustrate this point, the filmmakers have come up with a very sly device. The place where Jonesy stores his memories is depicted as an actual warehouse where he runs and hides from Evil Alien. Makes sense, no?
Stage 6 - Morgan is back...and this time, he's mad and idiot savants have powers! 
Just when I was reaching again for the DVD case to find out if I had read correctly and indeed Morgan Freeman was supposed to appear in the film... guess what, he does! This time he's not playing the proverbial, wise, cultured cop, this time he's an Army General with an agenda of his own. To say his character is supposed to be bitter, mad and perhaps a bit unbalanced, is an understatement. This guy is completely psychotic, he made me think of some Riflemen in some forum threads we all love to hate. So unto the film, here we are now treated to an entirely different sub-plot about Freeman and his second in command, Tom Sizemore, that has nothing to do with our good hero friends. We learn that the aliens have come to invade our planet and they are really evil. So Big Bad Morgan is obsessed with destroying them. He launches an attack that decimates rivers and forests and also the Big Bad Mothership. Well, ok. Guess what. We also have a second sub-plot, that isn't really sub-plot but a long flashback sequence that describes how our hero friends acquired their special powers in their childhood (I had forgotten they had powers by this point!). So, my friends, the important lesson this film teaches us all is that if you ever wish to acquire special super powers, you don't need to come from the planet Krypton nor be multi-millionaire like Bruce Wayne, no, you need to consult your local idiot savant and ask for an appointment. He will give you a special talent unknown to simple mortals. I'm not sure if you're supposed to be a kid to progress in this matter. Anyway, remember the mysterious Duddits? Well, he's the idiot savant, and he has mighty morphin' super powers. And he's kind enough to supply those to our hero friends.
Stage 7 - All Hell Breaks Loose... Along with Continuity, Logic, Reason and Moderation 
See Mark's happy expression up there? That will be the exact same expression you'll find yourself drawing, mostly because at this point in the film you'll realize you're no longer watching a film, but more like you're stuck in some kind of ultra-bizarre madhouse passing as a film. That's correct. If all the points mentioned above weren't enough for you to consider this might be a strange little film, well, you have seen nothing yet. Nothing will prepare you for what you're about to watch. If exploding asses and nutso army generals didn't suffice enough, as we approach the climax of the movie we'll find such distinct and thought-provoking elements as an Evil Alien/Jonesy Scotsman chomping on one of our heroes in a single bite, a character communicating with Jonesy through a gun (I swear to everything that is sacred I'm not making this up! He even holds the gun as if it were the latest in cell phones), a game of stomp the evil worm-like critter, more Morgan screaming-madness, and an array of eccentric visual effects that culminate with our good friend Duddits, now grown up, who is at last able to face the Evil Alien menace only for us to discover... that he's an alien too! Yup, the sweet-natured idiot savant turns out to be some sort of huge, good alien with a face only a mother could love.
Stage 8 - Final Thoughts 
Thanks to Mark, once the madness has stopped, there's a good chance you'll find yourself with this expression on your face. What is Dreamcatcher? I'm not exactly sure. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't thoroughly entertained by it, it's a good ride and gets points from me for being bold and going places you'd never imagine it could go. However, bizarre doesn't even begins to describe Dreamcatcher. This is a big-budgeted piece o' schlock. But, the important question, is it good schlock? I'm still at odds. The first hour or so is deliciously perverse, with very good acting and story elements. The ending is a complete joke. I'm not kidding, it is THAT bad. Horrible ending. What we have left is an hour of good honest-to-God mighty weirdness. I guess that part will depend on who you are and how you feel about weirdness. I mean, this not though-provoking Lynchian weirdness, it seems to want to be bizarre for the sake of being bizarre. I don't know, I guess that's a good thing. I still can't believe I read Larry Kasdan and Goldman's names in this. From King I can expect just about anything at this point, but this is still a mess of a movie. Entertaining, yes, but messy all the same.
So after writing this very lengthy post, I'm thinking the only way to enjoy Dreamcatcher is to put yourself in the same state of mind as the filmmakers, and for that I'll only say three final words of wisdom:
Pass the LSD...
